In many indigenous cultures there is no separation between sexual or life-force energy, they are considered and valued as one and the same. Therefore does it not make sense that when there is misuse or abuse of sexual energy, then there is actually misuse or abuse of life-force energy?
It seems one of the greatest gaps in the current education system is around sexuality and intimacy and some of the greatest issues people have in the course of their Earthwalk is around relationships, and directly related to communication, sexuality and intimacy?
If relationships are not working in our external reality, which many now agree is a reflection of our internal reality, then we must take a look inside on what is going on with our inner feminine and masculine. What these two learned was from their most immediate role models and how they interact is often based, not upon what our parents or guardians said, but rather how they behaved.
And as there are not so many of us who have had the gift of conscious parenting from both our parents then we often have much to resolve within us before we are likely to enjoy the beauty of relationship bliss. And unless we address our personal relationship with each of our parents, and the inner marriage of our masculine and feminine, then the chances are we are going to keep attracting their behaviour patterns in our external relationships, be them in work, play or in intimate relations.
In addition, after eons of indoctrination by various religious institutions there remains an enormous amount of fear, shame and guilt around sexuality and as a result, sexuality has been supressed and pushed into the darkness, effectively feeding the very unhealthy expressions of sexuality that many are afraid of, or unwilling or ashamed to bring into consciousness. This combined with the media constantly using sex to sell and 2000 yrs of feminine suppression has jaded much of the natural beauty, innocence and immense power of a healthy sexual expression.
And if that is not enough, once we open to the understanding of what goes on in the unseen world in relation to sexuality, then we may also realise that there are many more entities and energies that feed off and through the unconscious, and dark or unintegrated side of humanities sexuality.
So how can we bring presence and consciousness into our sexual relationships when the majority of sexual interaction between individuals is friction based and goal orientated, out of body and in the mind? Coming from a place of contraction, and worrying about if you are doing it right or pleasing the other, your orgasm, their orgasm or coming together, fanaticising about another lover, or perhaps even praying for the whole act to be over ASAP. It may be time to push the pause and reset button as there is so much more beauty and pleasure that is not even touched upon in this environment, and sad that many walk through their entire life not knowing anything else.
When working with individuals or couples the first thing I recommend is to stop fanaticising and bring your consciousness back into your body here and now. Also to stop watching any pornography, which is one of the greatest plagues on our planet creating hardwiring of the brain and genitals and completely bypassing the body and somatic system, while causing premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction among young men.
Websites related to the Neurobiology of contractive peak orgasm;
You may like to accept this information as an invitation to get to know yourself better, explore your body, including yet not focusing on your breasts and genitals, and discover what turns you on. And when you have worked that out, try communicating to your lover exactly what your body likes and afterwards, why not ask them what they want? Then, when you are feeling brave it may be time to let go to of the focus of contractive peak orgasm and make a date in your diaries to experience what it is like to embark on a journey of love-making with no fixed goal or agenda and the possibility have an experience you have never had before.
Art by Autumn Skye Morrison